Making Decisions: When Is It a Good Time to Become a Mom?

Growing up, being a mom was always a dream of mine. When people asked what I wanted to be when I grew up, it was always “a mommy.” Maybe a marine biologist… and a mommy. Or maybe a teacher… and a mommy. But I hadn’t planned on having children as young as I did. I was still in my last year of college when I became pregnant with my first son. His dad (now my husband) and I were 21 and 22 years old, respectively (I’m the older woman!). At the time, having children didn’t mesh well with our carefree, late-night rendezvous in his parents’ basement. I had plans to finish my English degree and find a job as a writer or an editor. Then I would get married. Buy a house. Have a baby. Become a mom. Maybe when I was 30.

Life doesn’t always work as planned (especially when you don’t use birth control), but I’m so thankful that in this case, it didn’t. My son may not have been in my plans at the time, but being a mother always had been. And because of that–scared though we were–abortion wasn’t an option. Adoption wasn’t an option. Somehow, we would find a way to care for this unexpected baby boy.

Flash forward through a lot of hardships and struggles to getting married to my son’s father, picking out our first house as a family, and making plans for another child. But this time, it didn’t seem like having another child was going to happen as we had planned. It took nearly two years of on-purpose trying to get pregnant before my second son was finally a reality. And although this child was planned and desperately longed and prayed for, finding out that I was pregnant a second time gave me that same, scared feeling that I had the first time.

My story of becoming a mom, twice, leads me to believe that there is no “right time” when it comes to having children. While I do recommend using birth control until you’re “ready” to have children, I am also writing to say that whether it’s a part of your plans or not, becoming a mom is elating, terrifying, and rewarding in ways I could have never imagined. And in the 6 1/2 years of being a mother, I know that the only thing that you really need to make a decision to become a mom, whether the pregnancy was planned or unplanned, is the ability to love.

Although being a mom was always in my plans, I am blessed by both of my children beyond anything I could have ever dreamed. And I wouldn’t trade either of my unique and drastically different experiences of becoming a mom for any other dream I’ve had.

Happy Mother’s Day weekend to all my family, friends, and followers!Image


7 Comments on “Making Decisions: When Is It a Good Time to Become a Mom?”

  1. Happy Mother’s day to you!

  2. oh! you were so young but you are a great mom to these two little boys and fun to know you always wanted to be a mom! 🙂 I had mine late in my life but unlike you, I didn’t know if I wanted to be a mom but when I got pregnant ; I was excited and then when he was born I was SUPER excited and fell in love with my little boy! 🙂 pretty picture of you 3. Wish a great Mother’s day weekend Laura with your lovely family! 🙂

    • Laura says:

      Thank you so much!! There is definitely no right or wrong when it comes to being a parent, as long as there is love! 🙂 Happy Mother’s Day to you too!

  3. Happy Mother’s Day to you.
    Funny line about birth control.
    Funny how life takes us in directions even that we don’t necessarily plan.

  4. I didn’t want to be a mum. The thought horrified me, I hate kids… I still do (other people’s of course) but being a mum at 16 changed my life. And I’m very proud of myself for all the things I’ve achieve BECAUSE I’m a mum. Now at 20 I have two healthy girlies. Who will hopefully not follow my footsteps at being a mum under 20 🙂

  5. lexiesnana says:

    I always wanted to be a mom and I did get my wish. You made me smile and realize that the way our life turns out is really a gift when children are granted.

  6. muddledmom says:

    What a beautiful post! There’s no doubt that even if you want kids, it’s way different than you could ever imagine. But I know even after the worst days, I wouldn’t change a thing.

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