For Argument’s Sake

I walked through the cold rain, clicking my heels a little faster and harder than necessary as we walked across the parking lot towards the movie theater.

“What, are you trying to run away from me?” my husband asked with anger still in his voice.

“I’m just trying to get out of the rain.” True. But also, I was trying to run away from him.

We paid for two tickets to see ReacherΒ and headed toward the snack bar.

“Do you want anything?” I asked.

“Whatever you want.”

We waited in line in silence. As I combed the knots from my long, wet hair with my fingers, my eyes caught a young couple standing in the line next to ours. They were holding hands. They were smiling at each other in a way only new lovers do. I took in a long breath, and as I exhaled, I let my shoulders relax, releasing them from the tension I hadn’t realized they carried. I grabbed my husband’s hand and smiled at him.

“Can we please just enjoy the rest of the night?” I asked.

“Yeah.” He squeezed my hand. Maybe a little harder than required. Sure, we were late for the movie to start, but his sister-in-law needed my blogging advice. I just had to help her right then. But he was definitely wrong that I do that kind of thing all the time. Or at least I was pretty sure.

We watched the movie, holding hands and cuddling in the seats. I clenched his thigh during the suspenseful parts. He tried to pull my hands away from my face when someone was about to get shot.

After the movie, we drove to the restaurant that he had suggested. It was a small, Italian spot in the basement floor of a shopping center. Nothing I would have chosen on my own, but I liked the atmosphere. Behind my husband was a large poster featuring Michelangelo’s David (from the waist up) in an ad for Italian imported wines. I wanted a picture for my Instagram account. I could picture the caption now: “My anniversary #date… No, the guy with the #beard, not the one that’s #chiseled.” I thought it was clever. My husband had other thoughts.

“Why do you always have to share every single moment with the world? Can’t some things be just between us?”

“I do keep a lot of things just between us. I like to write and share things with people. I sit at home with our baby all day. Don’t get me wrong, I love it. But it’s nice to have adult interaction too.”

“Maybe if you weren’t always checking your Facebook or Instagram, you and I could have a lot more interactions.”

A valid point.

“It’s our anniversary, and we can’t even go on one date without arguing!” he said.

I felt a little hurt. And a lot to blame. But I couldn’t let it go yet.

“Well, maybe we could if you were willing to do something together other than watching sports or the history channel. I can only stay interested in that for so long, and then I get bored. Your idea of spending time together is watching TV. What’s the difference between you being glued to the TV and me being glued to the Internet?”

“There’s a difference. Watching TV together, at least we are involved in the same activity, and we can laugh and talk about it.”

Another decent point.

“I’m just trying to enjoy our night together. Rarely can we afford the time or money to go out, and we can’t even enjoy it, because we’ve been arguing all night!” he said.

“You’re not enjoying it? What about the movie?” I asked. He read the disappointment on my face.

“It’s not that I’m not enjoying it. The movie was fine.”

“When we weren’t talking,” I noted.

“Well, yeah. At least we weren’t arguing.”

“Babe, I’ve got news for you,” I said, “We argue all the time.”

“Not ALL the time,” he said.

“Yes, we do. Name a time when we’re not arguing about something.”

He thought for a minute. “When we’re driving home after visiting our parents, and the kids are asleep.”

“Okay, yes, that’s one. When you’re trying to make me laugh or keep me awake,” I said.

“Right. And then there’s…” Silence.

“My point is, we argue all the time. Why should our anniversary be any different? Most of the time, it’s not even a big deal and we end up laughing it off as soon as it starts. Just because we argue doesn’t mean we can’t have fun doing it.” I smiled at him. Winked.

As he thought, I reached across the table and held his hand. We argued about whether or not we were going to order an appetizer, and if we did, which one, and then we ate and talked and laughed and discovered about a dozen other little arguments between then and picking up our boys.

We drove home in the rain, with the boys asleep in the backseat, listening to the radio.
“I had a great time with you tonight,” I said.

“I had a good time with you too.”

I reached for his hand, and squeezed it tight, happy that we agreed.

**Linking up with the talented folks at Yeah Write! Click the button to read about it!**

Advertisements

41 Comments on “For Argument’s Sake”

  1. this is so typical of marriage and relationships. what is not typical is that you got over your feelings in the theater and reached for his hand. that is a solid gesture. that is swallowing your pride or anger or whatever and just reaching for love. you guys sound good. happy anniversary.

    • Laura says:

      I think we’re just so used to it, that we tend to get over it quickly. We kind of have to because there’s bound to be another thing to argue about pop up any minute, so we have to reconcile and bounce back! πŸ˜‰ Thank you, lady!

  2. I love the sweet ending! It’s so hard sometimes. My husband watches a ton of TV but I prefer to read or be on the computer. We always have one show we watch together (Walking Dead now) but we do our own thing too. I can’t watch that much TV!

    • Laura says:

      Me neither! We have a few shows we enjoy together that we record and watch after the kids are asleep. But when a sports game is on, I’m with you. Internet browsing on my phone or reading a book. At least we’re in the same room…. right?? πŸ˜‰ Thanks, Stacie!

  3. Great post – one of my favorites of yours.
    I can relate to this all to well as could my wife. On that we would agree. Stupid little arguments – too many of them.

    • Laura says:

      Thanks, Larry! That’s a great compliment coming from you.
      The little arguments are constant! I mean, really, who argues about how often they argue? But like I said my husband, most of the time, one of us will realize how ridiculous we sound and do or say something to make the other laugh. In a strange way, it’s like a form of bonding that we have. But we wonder why our 6YO tends to argue about everything we ask him to do…. Hmmm…. πŸ˜‰

  4. marcyl says:

    Happy anniversary! My husband has a video game that he plays all the time, while I’m usually reading on the Internet. It’s nice to read about the connections too.

    • Laura says:

      Thank you! I had a feeling other husbands/wives could relate to this. It’s comforting to know we aren’t the only ones! πŸ™‚ Thanks for commenting!

  5. Oh Happy Anniversary Sweet Sister! I am so glad you shared this post, I told my hubby last night, I would rather prod and poke you to respond until we argue because then at least we are interacting and I have some idea what you are thinking. It is much better than guessing and dreading in silence. He is a “lets share watching the TV while I hold the remote and change channel every time you start to get into a show” kind of guy.. I have begun sitting with him with my laptop on my knee, reading posts and keeping one eye on the TV so I can laugh with him…Though I don’t know what I’m laughing at half the time, hahaha. Great post! Blessings to you and your Man!

    • Laura says:

      Thank you so much, Sister! That sounds just like us!! And I agree with you… To me, the fact that we argue means we still care what the other thinks and that we WANT to agree, even when we don’t. So one of us will try to convince the other to agree with our point of view. And in a strange way, it keeps us connected and passionate. I love him dearly, that angry old man. πŸ˜‰ Haha! Thanks for your sweet comment! It’s comforting!

  6. Poignant, as I can see this exact scenario in my life.

  7. Mayor Gia says:

    Awww I’m glad this ended on a good note πŸ™‚

  8. Lovely and honest post, so true, some days with my hub we argue for nothing or for things that don’t even matter! Happy Anniversary!

  9. Larks says:

    Awwww… Marriage can be really hard especially with young kids. It’s so great you have such a great attitude!

  10. I like that you guys got past the little arguments and had a great night. I think the squabbling, and trying to figure out what time together really means in this age of connectivity is something we can all relate to, at least I know I can. At the end of a long day, my husband and I are often too tired to have any kind of conversation, but we always sit together and watch TV which, for us, is connection enough.

  11. modmomelleroy says:

    This used to be my husband and me. To the point where we’d show up for band practice and end up sitting in the van arguing for so long that everyone else would be looking out the window at us wondering if we were ever coming in or if we’d spend the afternoon in the driveway. The trick is resiliency and you and your husband sound like you have that. πŸ™‚

  12. You two are cute. I admit I did not read all of the comments so perhaps this was already said, but I liked how as long as you redefine your “arguing” as communicating it works. Your marriage only has to work for the two of you. All the best πŸ™‚

  13. mamarific says:

    I know exactly how you feel. I was just griping at my husband last night for spending time on sports websites when he gets home from work, but I realized I do the same thing with facebook, blog stuff, etc. when it suits me. We are both trying to get away from the technology when it’s our time to be together. Married 15 years and still learning to compromise…

  14. This post speaks to me personally on so many levels. Thank you for sharing it.

  15. Dana says:

    People underestimate the power of one small little connection. Sometimes that’s all you need to make a difference in a day where it feels like you’re just not connecting at all. So glad this had a good ending. πŸ™‚

  16. dberonilla says:

    Happy Anniversary!!
    I loved the sweet ending to your post, and I am glad you were able to get out for a date. Thanks for writing so honestly!

  17. Jared Karol says:

    Oh, wow, I think you just captured my relationship w/ my wife (and probably every other married couple). . . I just wish we could talk about it more openly like you guys. Thanks for giving me a glimpse into your life. . .

    • Laura says:

      It took several years of me feeling like there was something wrong with us before I realized that SO many couples can relate, no matter how long they’ve been together. Just changing my attitude about it helps put things in perspective!! Thanks!!

  18. Happy Anniversary! Sounds like y’all have it figured out. My (awesome) husband is very low-tech, works with his hands and doesn’t understand why I would ever reveal anything about my past or present to strangers on the Internet. I blog mostly in the early morning before anyone else is up and try to focus on him at night. He doesn’t complain about the time I spend on my blog; he’s just kind of mystified and wishes I would never ever mention him in it!

    • Laura says:

      Haha! My husband doesn’t have any social media except Twitter and he only uses that during fantasy football time to give him up-to-the-minute updates on his players. He totally doesn’t have any desire to be mentioned either. Although he did read this post before I posted it (me being proactive in trying to avoid THAT argument!) and he approved. πŸ˜‰ Thanks for your comments!!

  19. Happy Anniversary! I feel like I could have written this – I totally get it.

  20. 50peach says:

    What a lovely read. I admire your ability to include so much dialogue without it feeling forced or choppy. Bravo! And Happy Anniversary. πŸ™‚

  21. iasoupmama says:

    Happy anniversary! And many more, too.

  22. Great ending! I like the idea of enjoying yourself while arguing – sounds hard to do but worth it. Happy Anniversary!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s