31dbbb Day 1–The Elevator Pitch: It’s What Close Families Is REALLY About

I’ve never attended a cocktail party; I have an anxiety for that kind of setting. But here is my longer version of an elevator pitch, should the occasion ever arise:

As the only female in our home, I’m a mom on a mission: to slip a little more veggies onto the dinner plates, to shoo everyone off the couch a little more often, and to create new ways for our family to make lasting, emotional connections. Surprisingly, they (usually) go along with it, and it’s (mostly) working. They’re teaching me a lot about myself too, and I’m not so proud that I won’t share those insights with you.

I still like my shorter tag-line: “Closing the gaps between us and building a strong family unit” because it’s short and exact… Or maybe it’s because my six-year-old is begging me to play Minecraft with him and I’ve already revised the longer pitch 35 36 times.

Editors, bloggers, and typically-silent passersby… I’m certainly open to any advice on making an outstanding elevator pitch. And if you’re asking yourself, “What the heck is an elevator pitch?” then you should click the badge below and find out! Just be sure to come back and give me some suggestions. ;)

About these ads

34 Comments on “31dbbb Day 1–The Elevator Pitch: It’s What Close Families Is REALLY About”

  1. Laura says:

    A-ha… Distance. I like, “Closing the distance between us and building a strong family unit.”

  2. I especially like the shorter version (though I would get rid of the words – between us). You should consider going into advertising.

  3. Marcy says:

    I like the longer pitch and think it would really appeal to readers looking for a good parenting blog.

  4. your pitch sounds great, but i do love, willing to shorten the longer pitch to play minecraft with your 6 year old. got to have priorities straight. :)

  5. iasoupmama says:

    OMG, Minecraft is killing me this summer… but it somehow makes my 8 year old son and 5.5 year old daughter get along, so I’m all torn…

    I love the idea of dropping “between us” from you tagline. And I don’t know that you need “unit” either as that sounds more clinical than your blog usually is.

    I love your long version — very clear. I know exactly what I’m going to be reading — good job!

    • Laura says:

      Thank you for all of the helpful feedback! I’m loving #31dbbb already. :-)
      Funny that you should mention that “unit” makes it sound more clinical, as that’s how my blog was the first few posts, before I was sure if I wanted this to be strictly resourceful or more personal. I decided fairly early on that I liked personal best… with a few hints of resources throw at the readers for good measure. But you’re right 100%. Thank you!

  6. I really like the short one Laura! :-) good luck with the pitch!

  7. Kiki says:

    Love the specificity in your pitch! Gives a real sense of what makes you unique!

  8. Erica M says:

    The elevator pitch is not meant to replace your tagline. It’s a way for you to wrangle into a compelling paragraph what your blog is about in case someone, anyone cares enough to ask. Writing it out will help you articulate your mission to others.

    • Laura says:

      Thank you for the clarification, Erica. That’s what I got from Deb’s post too, but I think I confused myself when I started looking at some of the posts that were before mine.

  9. Christi says:

    I like both, and I would change “not so proud” to something positive, like “I’m going to share what I’m getting right.” “I’m going to share my insights.”

  10. First my condolences. I have a 9 year old OBSESSED with Minecraft. As far as your elevator pitch, I love the imagery of closing the gaps. “We have gaps. I fill them.” I don’t know just playing around but I what you’ve got a lot.

    • oops. Wanted to write. I like what you’ve got a lot. :)

      • Laura says:

        Thanks, Jamie! I appreciate that feedback. I always really liked that gap too.
        Also, the Xbox360 version of Minecraft is what my son is obsessed with at the moment. I play with him–in trying to be interested in his interests and all of that good stuff–but whereas he likes killing zombies and digging down to the Nether, I enjoy building pretty homes. He’s clearly the hunter/gatherer, and I’m clearly the homemaker. Huh. Maybe I will go kill a cow next time. Just to shake things up. ;-)

  11. I like something you said in the comments, that you’re not always sure you’re getting it right. Maybe work that in somehow. “I’ll share what I get right and some of what I don’t.” Or something like that. And I’m going to agree about dropping the word unit. :)

    • Laura says:

      Thanks, Michelle, good idea too. I certainly don’t get it right all of the time. But my mission is to wake up every day trying.

  12. OMG – Minecraft. I have two kids obsessed with spawning and zombies and what not (and I have no clue what any of this even means).
    I like both your tag line and your longer version. Feels very welcoming and open!

    • Laura says:

      Thanks, Kerstin!
      Minecraft…… I was so confused every time my child spoke of such things that I finally had to start playing with him, just so I could understand and have a conversation with him, as he was clearly too obsessed to talk about anything else, and I was tired of using, “Uh-huh.” and “Oh, I see.” as my only addition to the conversations. It’s not half-bad once you start playing, although we limit the time, and I don’t play with him every time. When I do, I spend much more time decorating our shelter than I do killing things. ;-)

  13. Kiki says:

    I like this! Two quick thoughts: the three items in your mission list don’t seem equal. As in, the mission really seems to be the last in the list, or closing the gaps, as you so beautifully put it in the tagline. veggies on the plate and getting off the couch seem more like the WAYS you do that. But I like those two details. I wondered if maybe you could be a mom on a mission to close the gaps and create lasting emotional connections, and then have in a separate example the way you do that. Does that make sense? I like all that you have in there (add the gaps!!!) and think this switch might make your mission more powerful and clear.

    • Laura says:

      Yes, I see what you are saying and it makes sense. I do talk about food (monthly Munchkin Meals post), and being active, but you’re right that they can also fall under that same “we’re all in this together” kind of attitude that I inflict on my family.
      Thanks for that insight! Totally helps.

  14. erin graves says:

    I love the details you share about your family life, it’s so personal and intimate, yet accessible. I definitely want to read more!

  15. Stopping by from YeahWrite 31dbbb.
    @JLenniDorner

    Not a bad pitch.

    I enjoyed the about me section under the name Laura on the right hand side more than I did the pitch though. Coming back for inspiration makes sense to me. That sounds like a goal.

    • Laura says:

      I like that too, so it’s not going anywhere. I thought it sounds too formal for conversational purposes though. You know what I mean? But good points, and good thoughts to consider, so thank you!

  16. katbiggie says:

    I like your elevator pitch! I am not sure I ever got my tagline or my elevator pitch perfected… I need to work on it some more.

    • Laura says:

      It’s hard, isn’t it? When you want something really outstanding, that is. I like the push that Yeah Write gives you in that direction. ;)

  17. Larks says:

    I liked your pitch. It’s very like, “This is a parenting blog that pulls back the veil.” Elevator pitches are hard to write, I think. This may just be me but I liked the bit about helping your six year old with Minecraft and felt like it gave me a better sense of just what kind of parent/blogger you are. Maybe a tidbit like that could be worked into the pitch?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 163 other followers